How do you know you have had enough?

holding handsOne of my friends who have been married for more than twenty years and whose husband continuously indulge in sexual affairs with other women asked me, “How did you know that you had enough – that it was time for you to end the marriage.”

She said, “I want to leave, but I just can’t. I keep hoping and praying that he will change and that we will have the marriage God wants for us.”

The day I knew that I have had enough, I listened to my husband’s voicemail and heard his mistress thanking him for a “wonderful time” and applauding him for being “such a great lover.” While I was shocked, hurt and angry, I knew that there was no hope for my marriage. I envisioned him lying in bed with this woman and I could no longer bring myself to sleep with him. The thoughts not only infuriated me but also made me feel insecure and not good enough. Why couldn’t he be satisfied with me? What was wrong with me? What was she doing to him that was so different? These questions tormented me over and over again.

Our marriage was rocky for a long time and we had been back and forth so many times due to his infidelity and abuse that I decided that if I had to lose everything and start over again I would do it. It was not an easy journey and many times I wondered if I was wrong in giving up, but in the end it was the best decision I have ever made in my life.

So when my friend asked me this question, I looked at her and said, “Whenever you get to that point in your marriage you will know it. Nothing will matter anymore and all you are going to look forward to is peace, quiet and solidarity.

“Every cloud has a silver lining. The edge of light that shines brightest holds a sliver of hope for a bright today & an even better tomorrow.”― Truth Devour

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